The Need To Accomplish…

Who doesn’t want to accomplish a list of goals in life? Or just simply do a few more things?

I have a constant nagging little girl in my head. She jumps up and down far too often, that must explain the headaches, and she keeps me thinking at all hours of the day. On some days, I envision she is wearing shorts, a tank top and flip-flops, and other days she is in sexy business outfit as she crosses her legs and kicks her high-heel shoe off and on as she bounces her leg. Either way someone won’t stop feeding the little girl sugar.

This girl constantly reminds me of all the things I wish to accomplish, big and small. For starters I want to take a cake decorating class, horseback riding lessons, return to tap dancing lessons, go skiing again, and get into photography. Sure I can combined some of these, although I’m not sure the horse would be willing to allow me to wear skis and walk in deep snow while I photograph it.

Then there are the travel plans…visit every US state, and a few outside the US. Marvel in meeting with new people and ways of life.

Chase tornadoes, swim with dolphins, go snorkeling…NOT scuba diving, but snorkeling. Snorkeling with be fun, scuba diving would cause me to puke.

Of course I have things I want to accomplish with my house (pool, paint, landscape, decor, furniture) and my life: Get my books published, write a few screenplays…then have those picked up by a movie studio, be an action star, singer, print model, learn another language, change someones life, have an awesome job, (oh right, finish my bachelors) raise more dogs, feel better about myself, have a house built from my floor-plan, meet Faith Hill, start-up my own magazine, feel accomplished…yes I said it, I have a goal to feel accomplished on top of all my accomplishments.

My list of accomplishments is always growing and it seems like I won’t ever be able to complete any of them. I get this feeling that I don’t do anything of great (even normal) value if it doesn’t get crossed off the list. I am also constantly go-go-go only to end each day feeling like I accomplished NOTHING.

I have accomplished a few things in life, although, of course, they seem like nothing to me, or not good enough. Example: I quilted, all by hand, a blanket with all of mine and my husband’s old baby clothes and blankets. But I found out how he really felt when I did my “TA-DA” moment: “If we get divorced I will have to cut it in half so we can each have our stuff,” I say. “Nah, it’s okay you can keep it…all,” he replies. Well, it was a goal, not a 4-H contest.

At times I feel like my puppy…when everyone else is playing together in class, I go over to my teacher and proudly, but slowly, SIT so she notices my accomplishment and hopefully gives me a treat…I can play later.

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