I have had numerous magazine publications, and even books published (non-fiction). But having my picture book published caused something I never expected. Utter concern over the need to getting another book published. I can say without the support and well wishes from family and friends I actually may not feel this way. But that wasn’t the case (believe me I’m grateful). But….crap!
I have piles…literally piles of manuscripts from children to adult stories, but only ONE is completed. The rest are in rough draft stages.
NO ONE TOLD ME ABOUT THIS ANXIETY!!!
The pressure comes from the need to not seem like a onetime fluke…a phony writer.
The day my book Nonnie and I arrived, all shiny in paperback glory, I spreading the word with great boastfulness. Then the next day amidst all the joy it hit me.
Where is your next book?!?!?!?!
OMG! I don’t know! I screamed to my inner voice. I fumbled through folders of stories, grasped at half created stories trying to figure out the rest of the plot, and then took a deep breath.
I needed to calm the panic. I made two submissions, and had a long internal talk. I needed to remind myself that this would not be the one and only. It could be. But I wouldn’t let it! Besides I can’t write when I’m all worked up like this. Anything I worked on right now would be pure crap, I reminded myself.
I decided to let my creativity return when it was ready.
I read, I relaxed, I patted myself on the back and read some more. I told myself to have faith in me.
But…yeah I’m still panicking a bit.